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“When I look back on that, it could’ve gone worse,” she said. A very strong one.“I woke up the next morning without any pants on, and without any recollection,” she said.She hopes stories like hers help draw attention to sexual assault.“I don’t want anyone to hide anymore,” she said. It’s not healthy.”Khan said her experience has taught her the benefit of explicit consent: “I don’t know why guys think, ‘If I just do it, she’ll do it, too.’ I never understood that. ”She also has a suggestion for colleges: Teach martial arts and self-defense. A classmate at the University of Pittsburgh took her out to an Italian restaurant one night during her freshman year, then over to a friend’s house. Except for two details: She remembered there had been a baseball game on television the night before, and that there was an inflatable dolphin in the room.“I was young,” the woman, now 25, said.
As he drifted in and out of blackouts, he realized he was having sex with her. That’s where it went from annoying to alarming: As he opened the door to the hall, “she fell on the ground, screaming, ‘Stop it, stop it, I don’t want to have sex with you!
Even though he was uncomfortable with the situation, he was confused by his body’s behavior.“I’m like ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, I must be broken, this doesn’t make sense,’ ” he said.
“So what I told myself, and I think it’s true, is for me it’s important that I like someone, I like their personality to an extent enough that I can become sexually attracted to them.
“The memory is so, so foggy.”The man, a couple years older, was kind, good-looking, church-going, close to his family. “His personality didn’t lead me to believe he would do something like that.”In the years since, she hasn’t dwelled on the incident. “He’s gone about his life, and I’ve gone about mine.”He was drinking with a small group of people in a dorm room when she approached him and sat down on his lap. He didn’t want to hook up with her, but it seemed socially inappropriate to push her off.“You don’t want to be rude, you don’t want to be weird,” he said.
“Definitely there’s an awkwardness to saying no.”When his friends saw what was happening, they moved the party elsewhere, and he was left alone with a girl he didn’t know.
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He knew he didn’t want to have sex with her, but she was persistent and he didn’t say no.