Dating lost spark

One of the hardest things that people face over the course of a long-term relationship is that the initial spark – what many in the polyamory community call “new relationship energy” – fades.It’s an entirely natural part of settling into a relationship; the initial honeymoon period fades and what was intense and exciting becomes calmer and placid.While having alone time – even separate vacations – can be important for maintaining a happy relationship, what I’m talking about is Interruption can be a powerful technique, especially for reviving and maintaining the spark of passion in your life.By taking a break from one another, you’re disrupting the expected pattern of your routine.There’s an apocryphal story about President Coolidge and his wife visiting an experimental government farm that specialized in developing new approaches to efficiency. Coolidge were taken on separate tours, and when Mrs. ” “Oh no,” said the guide, “it’s a different hen every time.” “Please tell that to Mrs. It’s an old joke but one with a kernel of truth in it: mammals have an instinctual need for novelty when it comes to sex.

Part of a long-term relationship means that over time, you’ve gotten to know your partner on an incredibly deep level, almost as well as you know yourself.Beating the Coolidge effect doesn’t mean that the only solution is to sleep with other people.One of the ways of overcoming the drop in sexual interest is to build up sexual excitement elsewhere and redirect into the actual relationship – that is, getting all hot and bothered and bringing it home to your partner.However, adding a new female rat instantly revived the male, who would proceed to immediately mate with the new female.Subsequent experiments found that the Coolidge effect was present in females as well; introducing a new male into the mix would cause the female to have renewed interest in sex.

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